Dilemma Unresolved

I know this one is really long....read it if you like ;)

When your heart starts missing someone the moment you keep the phone down, when you can feel a person so strongly that the distances stop mattering, when you get strong intuitions about a person and those intuitions actually turn out right…..what would you call it???

When you care for a person a lot , you know whatever he/she is doing is probably out of habit or the concerned person is actually in pain….When you know and understand that person completely and feel bad for him/her ….when you decide that you are not going to hurt that person anymore coz he has had more than enough of heartaches in life …yet you always turn up doing things that are going to hurt that person and in spite of knowing it you cannot help it coz you sometimes want to live your life too….how do you stop feeling guilty and cursing yourself???

How do you forget things that make you feel miserable…yet they have been etched so strongly in your heart and mind that they have become a part of your existence….when you know you have wronged and hurt someone and yet you cannot apologize to them bcoz they are no more with you.

What do you do when you know that your mind is the place where it all is and if you bring your mind under your control you can direct it to do as you wish ....yet you find that sometimes your mind refuses to accept your orders and chooses to replay flashes of all the unhappy things that have happened to you???

You know some questions will never be answered in life ….yet you feel getting their answers would probably mitigate some feeling of pain and loss from your heart…..you know the one who has gone will never return back yet there is some stupid hope that someday he might return and say all of it was a bad dream which is now over.

When you know that a person ditches you all the time , makes you feel stupid and idiot …yet that is the same person who can make you happy….you know life with him/her is impossible …yet you cannot imagine your life without them….what to do with this ambiguity of heart.

Why did life have to be so complicated ….and as if that wasn’t sufficient why do people make it worse with their actions and words???